Stronger

Starting this week I am to begin taking a methotrexate shot every week. Following my procedure, which will take place on Thursday the 6th of December (an attempt to loosen a stricture in my ileum), I will begin a long journey with the immunosuppressive drug. I attempted a course with 6-MP for only six days, which turned out to be detrimental to the growth of the bone marrow in my body as a result of a missing enzyme. It turns out I am one of the six percent of white American males who are missing the enzyme necessary to process 6-MP.

I am facing a great deal of fear in the face of this new treatment. I have fought the use of immunosuppressive drugs for a great while in an attempt to avoid the terrible side effects and the dangers that are carried with them. It was only in desperation that I consented to this treatment plan of immunosuppressive drugs. Every week I will have to use an insulin syringe to inject methotrexate into my stomach. Indeed I feel a great deal of empathy for my diabetic brethren, who have had to inject insulin into themselves for years.

I came off of my daily dose of prednisone last week, and it (as many can attest to) was not the greatest in the side effect category. My stomach pain increased substantially with the use of the medicine, I guess, on the other hand, I have been ulcer free. I feel as though I must sacrifice one thing for another in this trial... that there is no clear path without a price. I pray only that I gain the strength to persevere in this chosen path. 

My doctors, one of whom is the most respected gastroenterologist in California and the other the most passionate rheumatologist in the world, have striven a great deal to find the answer and treat the pain. I feel safe in their hands and I trust their decisions, which says a great deal about them, because I am not one known for my love of doctors. The two have given a "differential diagnosis", which they are treating with full force, perhaps, when the dust settles in this struggle to attain a better state of life, I will come out stronger and better than I ever was before. For they say: what does not kill you makes you stronger.